At best, the film Twilight: Eclipse was, generous. Giving this viewer lots of time to drift in and out of some forty winks, and to think about different issues.
Top 10 silly questions that ran thru’ my head in those 100 mins…
10. Don’t they have cafes in their town? Why do they always have to sit on flower fields to chat? No mosquitoes meh?
9. Why is he topless on a snow-capped mountain? If it was to ease the changing of his form, then why wear those berms?
8. Oooo, low hanging berms. Are those undies or boxers?
7. Ooo. Remember the plot when the world last saw two guys in a tent in the mountains?
6. So that duet between Bat For Lashes and Beck was put to good use in the first few minutes, providing the strutting beat as Bella attempted to steal a night out with Jacob. Muse was the soundtrack in that graduation party. And Sia’s haunting ballad scored that almost-bed scene when Bella tried to rape Edward. But where. the. hell. was. Florence’s?!! Outrageous.
5. Who is Victoria again? You mean that’s a different actress from before?
4. Why is the film called Eclipse? Did I miss any scene?
3. Which day is the 17th again? Why must Despicable Me only open on the 17th?
2. Oh for god’s sake, she’s still at it! Why is it so hard to choose?! Just sleep with one and marry the other lah. What… not everyone is like me? Bullshit!
1. Why is this not in 3D? These long scenes of talking heads would look amazing.
